without a doubt you're all i dream about

Well yesterday didn't go quite how I expected it to. I didn't get a call from my recruiter and although things have quieted down on the home front I am still quite antsy to get out there. I haven't run in a couple of days because I pulled a muscle in my thigh so tonight I'm going on my first run this week. It should be interesting. I'm just going to run from my house to the beach and back which is roughly a mile and I'll time it to see how much 2 days can ruin a nice running time. I'm down to 28% body fat which is a loss of 8% from the time when I had to do my ARMS test almost 2 months ago. I've worked really hard on the body fat% but I haven't really lost weight. I can tell the difference though and I mean I feel a lot better physically so that's great.

I'm going to call my recruiter around 1-ish today to check up and see what's going on with everything. I stopped praying to leave a few nights ago and I started praying for whatever needs to happen to happen. I just wanted to give up the worrying because it was taking a toll on me. I'm not prone to panic attacks but my anxiety had been mounting so I just gave up worrying. I don't have to worry about those things because everything will happen when it's meant to.

I'm starting to see a pattern in my days. I work out I watch tv and I spend entirely too much time organizing my itunes. I think my first purchase after I get a chance to buy something will be a new ipod because it didn't make sense to bring mine with me and mine was only 4 gigs. I want a 120 gig one so I can put on movies and whatnot. I have a budget drawn up for when I come home on leave too already. My best friend is the type to plan everything out ahead of time even though we probably will just spend the time at the beach or hanging out at her house. 

I've had a lot of people suggest that maybe the Army isn't for me and that's the reason why I haven't gotten my interview so I want to kind of explain why I'm joining... well re-explain what the military means to me and why I wouldn't do anything else.

To me the best job in the world is helping others. I think that anyone who would give up their lives to help others is a hero and everyone in the military knows that there is the possibility that one day they will be in a position where they could be killed yet I have yet to speak to a military member that would choose to avoid the danger if it meant making the people back home in the states safer. Sacrificing oneself for others is the least selfish thing that a person can manage to do. Now I know that other people are willing to put themselves in harms way and they too are heroes but there's something so grand and fantastic about the military that is so hard to describe. They are professional in the highest degree. There is a very clear cut understanding of your place in the military world and you know that there are always people there for you to go to with problems who care about you and know more than enough to help you get through times that you may otherwise fail yourself in. As a teenage girl I haven't the slightest clue of my place in this world. I know what I want to do someday and I know a couple of the steps to get there but the military is the most fulfilling way to spend my life, that much I am certain of. So although in the past I have been a whiney, selfish, little girl I know I will gain the strength I need from the Army and I know that although not everyone will appreciate the things that the military does that each and every individual in the United States and many around the world will benefit from what the military does and will sleep safely at night because of the bravest men and women in the world. Sorry if it sounds a bit preachy, but it is something I feel very strongly about and I think my friends will understand this much better once they're a little older. Maybe they'll never understand but I know for sure that I will take every moment of my military career and live it to the fullest.

Well I'll step down off my soap box now and go back to what I was doing. I'll post later if there's any good news fron the recruiter :]

Today's song is Vegas by All Time Low... simply because I've listened to it 7 times in a row and I'm still loving it :]