I'm nothing if not thorough

So after getting all excited about my mom and I getting along finally we had a major blow up last night. Something happened along the lines of I talked to my mom about something that was going on physically with me and I assume she believed it meant I wouldn't be able to go into the Army and she got really upset and told me to tell my dad. And honestly it isn't that big of an issue but she didn't get it. So then my younger sister goes outside to my mom and starts crying because I am "ruining her life" because *and I haven't told anyone else this* but I think my mom is compensating for her mistakes with me by letting my sister have whatever she wants. It really upsets me how this kid can lie and go behind my mom's back on so many things and still be forgiven in the next breath when the stuff I endured when I was this kids age was ridiculous. I mean my mother had me sent in for psych evaluation so many times and every time they sent me home the next day saying I was completely normal and my only issue would be some anger with *guess who* my mother. 

So anyway my sister goes to her crying about all this nonsense and about how she thinks that I'm lying about all the delays and how I'm just trying to stay here as long as I can. That's ridiculous. I moved out of my parents house as soon as I could and at a tremendous amount of debt to get away from this kind of stuff and now it's all coming back. However I have my own way of doing things and all that I have done around the house is clean up after everyone else and be polite and respectful but this time when my sister caught my mom I think she spoke some of my mom's own fears.

So last night after 11 pm I called my recruiter. She had said if things got worse to call and I honestly was just going to leave a message because I knew she would be asleep at that point but she woke up and answered. I was crying out of relief that at least one person was there for me when my own family was turning against me. I told her about how things had gotten worse and I didn't know what to do. And half asleep she tells me that she'll call the Captain to see about getting my interview pushed up because of home issues and said that she'll come pick me up and let me hang out in the recruiting office until I have to go to MEPS so I can get a break from being with my mom all day everyday.... which to a girl who is so upset and sick of being bored of everything is truly a blessing. So now it seems like I'll be able to leave next week after all no matter what. I think one day my mom will regret having this blow up with me right before I leave because I know now that once I go to MEPS I'm going to ask to ship right out after I get placed. I know basic is scary and not something that should be used as a get away but this has been my goal for so long now that I just need to see the end of this torture and the beginning of the life where I'll be living out my days I hope.

Most 19 year old girls don't go into the Army thinking it will be a life long thing but I am. I know that this is the type of life I want. I was scared of losing my femininity at first but now I know that won't be a factor. I'll retain my own personality while absolutely relishing in Army standards. I love rules and organization so that is a dream come true.

Last night before I went to bed I prayed for peace and I prayed for my mother and everyone dear to me but lately I've added a few more things to my prayer list. Airmanmom, I pray for you and your continued happiness, I pray for the troops and I pray that the new president will be a capable leader for our troops..

With that being said I have a new song :]

Its the clarinet sonate by Camille Saint Saens and I played it my senior year and absolutely loved it.