I think that I should start by saying that I love music. Not in the teenage "I love this band!" way, but in the music is my life kind of way. I've always loved listening to music and I've wondered if anyone else has truly felt the same emotions as me while listening to a song. I have played the clarinet for almost 10 years now and I'm lucky to be talented with that. I was going to school to be a professional musician but there are a few factors that stood in my way. I was also lucky to have a natural intelligence.
I graduated 21st in my class out of I believe over 700 people. This is not for me to brag, I don't believe this defines who I am because being book smart doesn't always play out in the best of ways.
I have never in my life been okay with how I look. I am always surprised when I get a guy who I think is cute to go out with me. I have plenty of self-confidence I just don't know why this area of me has always been such a disappointment. I've always been on the chubby side and when I went to college I gained a LOT of weight.
I love my family. I really do. I have my mom who I fought with all through high school, and I mean terrible fights where there was yelling and I got kicked out of my house a few times. I have my dad who has always been very supportive of me, always. Even when I've messed up everything I could in my life he was still there saying he knew I could do better. I also have 2 younger sisters. One is very close to my age and as a result we fought a lot growing up. We still fight but now it's not so bad because it doesn't last long and she understands who I am more I think. My youngest sister is 11 and because she is so much younger than me I've never really connected with her the way I feel like I should have. She is one of the kindest people I know though. I also have an older half sister who I honestly have never been able to stand. She would come down during holidays *she's my mother's child* and she always tried to play games to get myself and my younger sister to fight. To this day she still plays mind games and is planning on not talking to me on Christmas. I think that it is petty to put our mother in that situation when I would never do a thing like that. I plan on being nice and talking to her whenever I feel like it incidentally.
I am very strong willed and very opinionated. In high school I was this liberal agnostic and I would go around debating anyone. Now that I've grown a bit I can admit that I am a registered Republican and Catholic to a T.
I was forced to grow up when I moved out of my parents house. I failed at the growing up thing and because of a series of events became homeless and had to rely on friends for two months.
I've worked every single day since I turned sixteen and I mean the day I turned 16 was my first day of work. I've worked at a movie theatre, Publix, Dunkin Donuts, and Busch Gardens.
I have this inane ability to adapt to whatever life throws at me but up until I decided to join the Army I wasn't actively participating in my life. I was "rolling with the punches".
I want more than anything to be an orthopedic surgeon. Med School is a dream of mine that is no longer just a dream thanks to the Army.
I guess I just kind of wanted to explain who I am in a nut shell and explain my family dynamics so future posts will read as fluidly as possible.
Thanks to those of you who have been reading and please invite your friends. Any advice/encouragement/ thoughts would be appreciated :]
also my email is cnmurphy@ymail.com and I love pen pals
catie...great post. Most insightful.
ReplyDelete~AirmanMom returning to her blog...