Tuesday, February 17, 2009

where were you?

So I haven't posted in a while. If you thought I had finally made it to basic then you may be disappointed to hear that I still haven't gotten my interview. Apparently my packet is sitting on the colonel's desk so as soon as he decides to read it and call me I'll be heading out. At this point I'm kind of thinking about the fact that if I had stuck with the Air Force I probably would already be in but I am really proud of the fact that I have stuck with the Army although things have not been going in my favor lately.
So how have I been passing my time? I have been focusing on my faith. I have been reading books and meditating and praying. Through this I have attained a peace within and I feel that everything will go exactly as it's supposed to. This is the most comforting thing I could ask for. Also thanks to my new found inner peace I have been able to help 2 friends in very different situations but who both needed guidance. 
Faith has always been a hard thing for me to deal with. I don't enjoy discussing it, not because I might be ridiculed but because it is the most private part of me and I feel that it should stay that way. I have opened up completely to my friend Nick and because of that we have started connecting on a deeper level. We are both Catholic and Conservative so a lot of my beliefs overlap with his but the differences are enough to keep us talking for hours. I have never before found it so comfortable to discuss my personal relationship with God and I wonder if that was the final obstacle that I had to pass before I could move on with my life.
I have matured more than I thought possible. While my friends spend their days gossiping and stabbing each other in the back I pray to leave so I might help the country and find my place in this world. All I've ever wanted to be is a success and I feel that if I try as hard as I can I will succeed in anything I try.
I stopped exercising for about a week now. I don't know why but I found that my spiritual fitness was more important. I think I'll run tomorrow to make sure my legs still work though :lol: I have continued to lose weight and body fat and I am finding it more easy to love myself now that I am finally having things shape up.
My recruiter called today to let me know that she expects the interview to be this week. I certainly hope so as I feel that I have overstayed my welcome here. Although, things have been going well between my parents and myself, I feel that is only because I gave them my tax refund check which was for almost 1000 dollars. It's the least I can do though. I go to work with my mom some days so she doesn't have to work so hard and I know she won't yell at me as long as I am helpful and quiet. Today I cleaned the whole house again and changed out everyone's bed sheets. I feel the best when I can help others. 
The only qualm I have with anything is the fact that my younger sister who is going to be 18 on Friday does nothing around the house. I even clean her room and put her clothes away. I think she has a sense of entitlement because she has a job but when I started working the day of my 16th birthday instead of having a party I'm no inclined to feel sorry for her. I worked every single day during my junior and senior year and maintained a 5.97 GPA where there is a possibility of her failing. I don't like to compare myself to her but it's hard when I'm picking up her slack every day and I have to carefully put away her clothes and she'll yell at me if I don't.
Okay rant over.
I have a song of the day!!
It's the new The Fray song, "You Found Me"
It's amazing!


  1. catie...the more I read your words, the more I feel that I am watching you grow right in front of me. Your spiritual growth will be such an asset while you tackle basic.
    As you know by now, I am a true believer that things work out as they are meant to be. Our time plan, may not always be what is best for us. Be proud of who you are, make no apologies!
    Stay Strong!
    Pray Hards!


  2. You know if you are spiritually sound it seems everything else falls into place. I am a Christian myself and teach a Sunday School class. Hang in there and God will open the door when He is ready to open it. Just keep the faith.